Valentine's day

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~ Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
~ James Holt McGavra

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
~ Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~ Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I always compromise; I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and brought jewelry.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."