If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.-Joe Martin
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.-Mickey Rooney
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.-Rodney Dangerfield
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.-Jackie Mason
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