Detachable Fire Sword

I couldn't pass this up

2010-07-24T10:16:00.000-07:00

I never blog anymore.

At best I'll pop on to the WoW forums and write a sentence or two making fun of some scrub.
There were two things I couldn't pass up.

This appeared in the DailyMail (UK) Dec 16th 2008

Archaeologists are stumped after finding a 100-year-old Swiss watch in an ancient tomb that was sealed more than 400 years ago.

They believed they were the first to visit the Ming dynasty grave in Shangsi, southern China, since its occupant's funeral.

But inside they uncovered a miniature watch in the shape of a ring marked 'Swiss' that is thought to be just a century old.

The mysterious timepiece was encrusted in mud and rock and had stopped at 10:06.

Watches were not around at the time of the Ming Dynasty and Switzerland did not even exist as a country, an expert pointed out.
The archaeologists were filming a documentary with two journalists when they made the puzzling discovery.

Thing is, for the last year, they've had everyone and their mom trying to prove the tombs been opened. But as far as all teams have proved: the Musketeers were winking at each other the last time the tomb was opened.

I personally don't believe in time travel. So far tho, this hoax seems solid.

..................................................................................
Words cannot do justice to my anger.

In Dec 2008 Captain Robert Semrau was with his squad in Afghanistan and happened to get caught in a firefight. The Taliban pinning them down was hiding in a tree, and the Canadian Armed Forces couldn't get past without sustaining a chance of a casuality (a secondary gunner was found in the same tree later).

They called in support, and HQ sent an Apache Helicopter.

They squad passed by, and found one gunman dead. The secondary gunner had been hit and the squad thought he was dead upon first contact.
They relieved him of his AK, vest, and ammo.

A few feet after they passed, the man awoke and was screaming in agony.
He had one leg completely shot off, he had a fist sized hole in his lower gut (which seemed to be causing him the most pain), and one of his arms appeared to have been shredded.

The Captain told the men with him "that he couldn't live with himself if he had left a wounded human being and nobody should be made to suffer like that."

So he put 2 rounds in the terrorists face.

When he met back up with his squad he said"anyone would do the same for any other human being in that situation. He is still a human being and should not suffer like that."

When he got home from his tour (8 months ago) the Afghan translator brought him to court for first degree murder.
When that fell through, he was tried for second degree murder.
That has also fallen through, but they sentenced him 5 years in jail for "disgraceful conduct".

Words fail me.
The government is so careful to be seen as bending-over-backwards for everyone that they are leeching humanity away one sip at a time.
Imagine getting 5 years in jail... not "next time let the bastard suffer and die of thirst and agony" ... FIVE YEARS OF JAIL for a mercy coup-de-grace.

I am so disgusted. Deeply and truly sick with the state we have become.
When has kindness, and care about our fellow man become a jail sentence?

That Cpt should have gotten a medal.
I just hope the next time that translator goes out with a squad they find a phone book and a nice quiet place.

.... if you were to give 100 leaders, of the top 100 richest countries in the world, AIDS; how fast do you think we'd find the cure?

I had an awesome birthday

2010-06-25T21:36:00.000-07:00

I slept in.

I got a Skagen watch from my parents.
Maria got me an awesome mp3 player and the connection to listen to it from a non-used radio station in the car.
I got a T-shirt from Art and Priya saying "There's room here for all of God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes" and a bumper sticker that said
"I'd tell you to go to Hell, but I work there already and I don't want to see you every day."

My employees bought me a card and the worlds greatest muffin.
I ate Ice-Cream till it came out of my ears.

MAPLE BACON Ice Cream!

Buy Maple Walnut Icecream
Buy 2 rashers of bacon.
Cook bacon till golden and very slightly crunchy (DO NOT burn)
Use a Slap-Chop on the Bacon
Mix Bacon and Icecream in a bowl.
Wipe the happy stain off the front of your pants.

Good times were had by all.
Thanks everyone who wished me a happy birthday.

... the rest of you are getting poo in the mail.

An awesome collection

2010-05-12T00:27:00.000-07:00

They claim this is the list of the 101 greatest movies.
That's an opinion cuz some on there suck, and they're missing classics.

Still tho.

Mostly an awesome list

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/arts-entertainment/2010/05/101-movies-worth-watching-more-than-once.html

Screwing with the phone guys

2010-04-16T01:21:00.001-07:00

This is from T. Hunt's blog (under the goblin comic). It's freaking hilarious.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I Won A Trip To Cancun! (Not Really)

A couple of weeks (or so) ago, my phone rang. I picked it up to hear a recording of a very excited man congratulating me for winning a trip to Cancun! All I had to do was push 1 to claim my prize.

Now, of course I knew that this was a telemarketing deal and by pushing 1, I was inviting a salesperson to try their best to ram a pricey vacation package down my throat then reach up my ass and pull out a commission.

I had some fun with that guy by pretending to be a complete moron who was jumping up and down, convinced that I was going to Cancun for free. I made it as difficult as possible for the salesman to break the soul-shattering news to my dumb persona by telling him how I'd never won anything in my life and that this was "the best thing that has ever happened to me". When the salesman explained that I hadn't actually won anything, but their promotional deal was "so great it was almost like winning", I made sure to not understand what he meant and prolong the awkwardness for as long as possible.

"Well yeah, but I don't need that promotion though right? Because I won a trip to Cancun!"

"Well Sir, right now we're offering..."

"Are you calling from Cancun? Are you there now? Did you win a contest too?!"

"Well, we're offering to treat you like royalty for a week for one low price and..."

"I've been so sad lately and this just changes my life! I'm literally doing the Snoopy dance right now!" I wasn't.

In the interest of believability, I eventually began to show signs of comprehension caked in bitter disappointment. Although the salesman seemed to believe my reactions were true, he really didn't seem to give a crap that he'd stepped on my smiling face and crushed what I'd claimed to be the greatest moment in my life.

"So... so I didn't win anything?"

"Well, our promotion is so good, it's like winning." He kept saying that. I'm pretty sure it was written on a piece of paper that was stuck to his cubicle wall with a hunting knife stabbed through it.

"So I... I lose?"

"No Sir, we're ready to offer you $2,500 off of our amazing package right now. It's a great deal and available for a very limited time."

"Well that actually does sound like a great deal. Would I be able to purchase the package from you over the phone with my credit card?"

"Yes Sir, I can do that for you, no problem."

"Would I be able to pay the full amount right away or do I have to pay in payments?"

"Oh no, a full payment is very easy to do. I can arrange that for you right away if you like."

"Oh that's great because I really want to buy this trip. You've definitely made a sale. Well... actually it's like you've made a sale, but it's really just me telling you to fuck off."

That's where I ended the call. Usually after I've had my fun with telemarketers (remember, it's not a prank call if they call you) I tell them to put me in the 'do not call' list. Apparently, by law, they have to do this. However, I forgot to tell Mr. Cancun to put me on such a list which led to...

THUNT VS CANCUN PART II

Today I got another call from that happy recording, telling me that I'd won a trip to Cancun! ... Again!

I sighed and pressed 1 to claim my prize. Soon I was talking to a lovely lady who asked how I was and began telling me about their amazing vacation deal.

"I won a trip to Cancun!" I interrupted with excitement.

"Actually no, I'm offering you a promotional deal worth $2,500..."

"Can I just have the cash?"

"What? No, it doesn't work that way. For a limited time, you can..."

"This is the second time I won! I mean Jesus Christ, what are the odds, right?"

"You didn't actually win anything." This lady was a bit more truthful about the whole deal.

"I disagree, I won a trip to Cancun. That's what the recording told me. Twice. So can I have both of my prizes converted to cash on one check or do I need to get two separate checks?"

At this point the lady seemed to have decided to play this call by the book. Maybe she thought she was being tested with a weird training call or something, but she refused to do anything other than read from her sales pitches that were no doubt tucked into the three-ring binder in front of her (by the way, I'll bet $50 that there are a minimum of two hearts doodled somewhere on that binder). No matter how bizarre I got, she kept reading her pitches word for word. Sometimes talking right over me. Eventually I got bored and...

"Look, I'll be honest with you. You're company called me up and tried to reel me in with a flimsy lie about winning a contest. It's pretty low." I waited for her response but was met with only silence until...

"The weather in Cancun has been beautiful and so this is a better time than ever to..."

"Are seriously still trying to sell me?"

"Look, this is my job."

"Well your job is lying to people, disappointing them, then using that to squeeze a sale out of them."

Silence.

"Sir, since you're still on the line I can only assume that you are interested in one of our vacation packages. Perhaps I can tell you about..."

At this point something glorious dawned on me and I swear to GOD that I actually heard angels singing above me as the sun suddenly shone a bit brighter through my window. I had reached telemarketing Nirvana.

"Wait a second," I said "you... you're not allowed to hang up on me are you."

Silence.

"You can save $2,500 on..."

"You can't hang up on me! You have to hard sell me until you either make a sale or I hang up!"

Silence.

"Sir, since you're still on the line I can only assume that you are interested in one of our..."

"BAHAHAHAHA! This is awesome! What should I tell you about? Want me to describe my big toe to you? Because I may be interested in hearing about your Cancun package if you learn all about my big toe. You better not hang up on me because this vacation dealy is starting to sound pretty sweet."

Silence.

"...interested in one of our vacation packages. Perhaps I can tell you about our amazing..."

"Have you ever wondered what would happen if you swished with liquid paper? I always wondered if it'd make a thin, white, rubbery cast of the inside of my mouth."

"...perhaps I can tell you about our amazing package deal which includes..."

This sort of back and forth went on for over ten minutes until she eventually broke her company's rule and hung up the phone. I will remember this telemarketing call as my Magnum Opus of received telemarketing calls. Also, I have a weird urge to plan a trip to Cancun.

As always, thanks for reading.

~Thunt

Valentine's day

2010-02-14T09:06:00.000-08:00

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~ Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
~ James Holt McGavra

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
~ Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~ Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I always compromise; I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and brought jewelry.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

Good morning Lemmings

2010-02-13T19:09:00.000-08:00

I have astronomically new experiences everyday.
I've always considered myself a good sales man. I can sell Cd's as well as the next guy.
You talk to people for hours and they grudgingly part with $10 for a Cd.

I'm hiring in my store and a guy from the Kiosk in the mall walkway tells me I should hire the kid from the icecream store next door.
"He's an awesome saleman"
Me: "Why?"
"He sold the biggest size icecream when I didn't even want it."
Me: "Oh ya, how did he do that?"
"He asked me "Want the biggest size."

Finding out what people want is 5/6ths of marketing and is what most tools are missing.
People want whatever they're told they need to want.
It's not for nothing we put our hand on our chest and proclaim "We, the sheeple".

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere

2010-02-12T16:24:00.000-08:00

I got a sweater for Christmas.
What I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

To everyone I used to say Hi to: I haven't died.
Last Nov. we moved to Canada (and had to set our watches back about 20 years).
Alot has happened since then, but my short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

I got a job working at a store in a mall in mid Dec. and by the first week of Jan. they made me manager. I found out "power corrupts and absolute power - is kinda neat. or something like that.

Being a manager of a large retail store is alot like being a home manager. You're the scheduler, finance guy, tool order guy, home mom,and home shepherd. Going witnessing you always ask for the all-powerful mysterious manager; but I've found I've been qualified for the job for years, which makes me wonder if the Holy Ghost Boogie IS really what it's all about.

The pay is never as good as it seems though, I guess taxation WITH representation isn't fun either.

Maria and my relationship has really changed. I haven't spoken to her for 6 weeks now.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
She found an addicting computer game that she thinks talks and plays. Zoo's are fun, they prove red meat isn't bad for you. Now green fuzzy meat...

Christmas with Art and Priya was awesome and Canadian beer is UNBEATABLE!!!!

I'll try to get on and say hi more often. Or just blog about wow and books.

Remember the original point and click interface was the Smith and Wesson.

The neighbor's wife

2009-07-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

Orson Scott Card once said: "I sat in a conversation with a screenwriting professor discussing English majors screenplays. He told me 'They come to class with long plays full of pretty language with lots of feelings and symbols in which nothing happens. They need to understand that films require stories.
'That other stuff is for poems'"

I disagree.
A good story is like an old shoe. It feels nice to listen to it now and then and kick it around.
Poems should be the same. Remember that feeling you got when you first heard "Richard Cory"?
This one did the same to me.
Please read it twice

The neighbor's wife
-by Susan Palwick

It sprouts wings every few weeks
but as yet has flown no further
then the woodpile in the yard
where we found it six months ago.

Colin Wilcox thought it was his wife
returned as a angel. It still wore
its headset then, lying trapped
in a crushed metal basket; Colin freed it,

muttering something about harps and haloes,
and the rest of us stayed quiet. Colin carried it
into the house and for three weeks nursed it
in his bed, on the side unwarmed since Marella,

the old Marella, had her heart attack.
When it could walk on six legs Colin taught
it to fry bacon, weed the garden, milk
the goats, which cower at its touch.

"Reminding her what she forgot in Heaven,"
he tells us, but she has not remembered speech,
this new Marella who is purple and croaks
like bullfrogs on the hottest summer nights,

who surely came from somewhere, if not God.
Lately it uses those stubby wings to carry
the heaviest logs from the woodpile. For Colin's sake
no one has tried to frighten it away.

That feeling of self-induced insanity. Of forbearance and long-suffering beyond explanation, with the only justification: habitation in proximity.
Of the simple and true fact: Beyond the five senses THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING UNDERNEATH!
If I never write anything that makes you feel fuzzy, I should walk on unconcerned. If I never write anything that makes you stop and think, I am not a writer, but a verbal masseuse.

Unsung Hardass

2009-07-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

The usual examples of all things exemplary in the Bible tend to follow the same oft repeated tune. But at devotions yesterday a thought struck me (they're rare enough, I know).

In popular media, and the homage we pay to Hollywood, there has developed a class of man who doesn't always win against his enemy, doesn't beat up everyone he rumbles with, not a superhero in power, but doesn't let it stop him. I'm thinking of everything from the classic Rocky (1) to Die Hard (all of them). Hollywood has us idolizing guys who don't let things like broken bones and 40% blood loss stop us from going the distance.

Jesus and Daniel's 3 buddies were like that too.
Alot is always lost in translation.

Jesus said: "That thou doest, do quickly." (Jn 13: 27)
Now-a-days imagine a different scenario, Jesus knew Judas was running off to kill him.

Imagine a long wooden stage with a post and a noose attached to it; a small crowd has gathered, and the sun is starting to make people sweat.
Jesus walks up and says: "Can we get on with it, I don't have all day."

Shad, Meesh, and To-bed-you-go were standing in front of the MOST painful way to die then as well as now. They weren't the important tools Daniel was, and a whole lot of pain was definitely on the menu.
They knew that God had pulled off a big one for Daniel before and it was possibly that He could save them, but, they weren't positive.

They said: "O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter.
Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand. But if not, be it known that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up."

Imagine a well lit windowless room. In it there's a table with weird looking knives and syringes filled with weird colors, winches, posts, and hooks coming out of the walls and ceiling. A generator hums loudly in the corner and frail man with a accent and glasses is waiting with no emotion on his face.

Someone tells 3 prisoners: "You don't even have to give up your own religion. Just say this other god is a supreme god as well, and we'll let you go. If you can't say it now, there won't be a chance to say it later. We'll try to see how long you can last"
"I believe the record so far is 28 hours"

The prisoners say: "My God is pretty big. I can't just push him away - He takes up too much space. Your god is cuddly and soft. He needs somewhere cushy and warm - I know... why don't you SHOVE HIM UP YOUR..."

- you get the point. Those men, they were manly men!

Text Post

2009-04-27T08:04:00.000-07:00

Stuff I bet you didn't know

*Richard Gere's middle name is Tiffany. (not gerbil)

*The bones from penises of badgers were used by Victorian gentlemen as tie clips. Every primate except man has a penis bone known as the baculum.

*In the Victorian era, people who could not afford chimney sweeps would drop a goose down the chimney or make it fly up through the chimney to clean it instead.

*Peter O'Toole once went to see a play, having forgotten that he was supposed to be in it.

*The country with the highest suicide rate is Lithuania. It has 52 suicides per 100,000, which is more than 13 times higher than the United States and 6½ times higher than Britain.

*The Earth has two moons. Cruithne, discovered in 1997, is a 3-mile (4.8 km) asteroid sometimes described as Earth's second moon. Cruithne orbits the Earth every 770 years. The name "Cruithne" has a Celtic derivation.

*Blue Whales have small throats and can swallow nothing larger than a grapefruit. Their diet consists of eating 3 tonnes of krill every day. Their penis is 16 feet (4.9 m) long and their testicles contain 7 gallons each, but they only weigh 22 lbs, which in equivalent terms, would make human's testicles weigh the same as a broad bean.

Lok'tar Ogar

2009-03-18T17:05:00.000-07:00

Went to a comic convention.

I was out of place.

When 15 thousand people in Mexico all dress original and abstract- they all end up dressing the same. Manga and anime were the general theme, but in the crowd there was a tall bald white guy. His two handed sword was definitely NOT a katana, his hair style was not spikey and covering 1 eye.
He had people asking to take pics with him every 5 mins, and his own personal groupies.

They had a fight arena. Because we fought so well we drew a crowd, the crowd wanted to play (lined up double quick), so everytime the crowd died down we fought for free again.

Hint: fighting like they do in anime movies DOES NOT work in real life!

I'm such a geek.

Jesus is coming - quick everyone look busy.

2009-03-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me what I'd do 5 mins b4 I died; I said "Be alive".

2009-02-11T18:01:00.001-08:00

If you've seen the Mac/ PC ads you'll get this.

White obese suburban wigger (does it get sadder?)

Coolest ink ever

Finchador

2009-01-29T14:23:00.000-08:00

People always do the same generic questions when they ask interviews. I went to the Hanna Montana interview and asked the same ones she did. No subtle sexual innuendos, no humor... straight out mall rat!!!
...and you thought inner city hoodlums would never get air space on my blog

Here's Sam Finch:

What’s the last book in the world you’d ever read? Big Fart! by Hugh Jass

In your dream fridge, what would fill the top shelf? Chinese food!!

Who has the best looking tongue in the world? Maria

How many hats do you own, and which one is your favorite? Two and Ma Pimp hat.

What’s your worst physical quality and how does it affect the way girls see you? My weak chin.

What super power would help you get to be the richest man? Wisdom to do anything.

What color umbrella would you like? Red.

How often do you eat breakfast? All the time

Fail inc

2009-01-21T07:39:00.000-08:00

My all time favorite

Gotta love the Japanese grasp of engrish

Clinton had the Suburban, Bush had the Lincoln, and of course Obama has a Caddy

The San Diego / Tijuana line

In the popes plane

Beards

2009-01-20T19:45:00.000-08:00

You can sit in a Hugh Grant movie sobing your eyes out, while spending 20 minutes to finish a small glass of mixed drinks, wearing a pink tutu, with Abba playing in the background... But, if you have a beard you will still feel manly enough to kill a boar with your bare hands and after impregnate a harem.

You will never feel alone in the world when you have a beard, for your beard is all the company you really need.

I now understand why Goths, Picts, Saxons, Huns, and every butt kicker wore a beard when he carried a sword. (Those ninny normans never did).
There are 2 classes in life: Bearded men and .... non-bearded men

If ever you feel that your life needs more manlyness: grow a beard!!

My favorite historical moment

2009-01-20T19:39:00.000-08:00

Quod Is pluo rex of Egypt ut sermo , quod orator : "Rex a rex rgis has imperium of totus venio , quod mos ut vestri mos non terminus hic.
"Is est non verus vobis pono vestri caput capitis , mereo vestri telum".

Quod Leonidas refero quod suffragium : "Molon Labe."
Quod est loquor : "Adveho quod adepto lemma".

- Historium Vitiate

One more time with feelings

2009-01-09T19:04:00.000-08:00

More funny pics.

2009-01-05T19:27:00.001-08:00

Wanted a tattoo???

Fail

Epic fail tattoos

Epic Fail Tattoo

Click on this one!

Mike Tyson in 2008

Animal kingdom bullies

RUAAAAAN

Thought of Mike

The states has Harleys. Japan has.... phew phew

Tia Fisher

2009-01-05T19:24:00.000-08:00

That girl has most random comments. Some of them crack me up.
"My favorite baseball team is anyone that plays against my grandfathers".
"I just realized I don't like drama movies. I'm all the drama I could ever need".

Orson Scott Card

2008-12-28T14:21:00.000-08:00

As a kid I read "Ender's Game", I think we all did. And as true to kids in that age era I sympathized with Andrew Wiggin.
Every kid wants to hear stories of revolt against the adult structure. All kids dream of the day the toy store opens it's doors and yells "Have at it". Getting 1 up on the people who push you around all day is every mans desire.
It also sets the stage, that even at a young age, we are ALL anarchists! An unsullied mind fights the perceived established system. Every child swears he'll be kind to kids when he/she is grown. As a kid in 8th grade I longed for the day when I could tell the thumb pressing my nose to the grindstone that they could go to you-know-where.

Didn't you?

... Don't you still?

I just re-read "Ender's Game" and I was blown away.
I saw the entire picture through Graff's eyes.

Inadvertently or through genius, Scott Card paints humanity in a way very few do.
What defines us?
What dictates the next step in evolution?
What changes us to the next step of higher sophistication?

Survival. Survival and violence.
Empires ranging from the invention bronze swords to GUI's. We have proved our dominance over each other with superiority.
BUT, we've been the dominant species since Adam (or since we learned tools and fire).
There is nothing for the human race to be superior over.

So, we fight ourselves and violence becomes our definition as a species. The people who have forced the next evolution have done it against their own kind.
If we were all scientists studying the human species, we would come to the conclusion that the smarter we get the dumber we are. What other species kill's it's own kind? What other species exults those best at it?
It would appear that the person who would wipe the earth clean of humans would be the greatest among us.

Back to Scott Card.
In Ender's Game Graff erases all lines in the fight for survival. In his shoes I would do the same... as would you.

Question is: why?
In the new "Day the Earth Stood Still" the U.S.A. responds to a alien attack in true human fashion.
We see something and we use violence against it. When that doesn't solve our perceived problem we resort to the next human trick: more violence.

Read "Flux" by Scott Card.
The man is one of the few people in the modern age who is able to look into the human soul.
Swift had it right!
It is possible to justify man, it is impossible to justify mankind. I know God agrees with me on this one.

On a separate note; whenever a author talks about what they view as their greatest work, you are guaranteed to hear pure drivel.
Authors never realize their greatest pieces. Makes you wonder if all genius is accidental.
Books authors proclaim is their best piece is usually one of their worst.
Take "The worthing saga" by Scott Card, or "The drawing of three" AND "The wastelands" by King, the "Silmarillion" by Tolkien or the "Conan collection" by Jordan
Give me an author's biography. Pick what they claim is their epic contribution to humanity.
Never read it and you'll be better off for it.

Self-company

2008-12-28T14:12:00.000-08:00

Fame! You can be famous as famous can be,
with the whole world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All alone!
Whether you like it or not,
alone will be something
you'll be quite alot.

2008-12-09T17:33:00.000-08:00

Random Info: the NFL has a salary cap on its players, so most get the majority of their salary in a "sign up" bonus. Cincinnati Bengal's Carson Palmer is the '08 highest paid Q-Back with 13.5 mil a year. The big fat guys standing there playing meat shield max out at 5.1 mil.
A punter (guy who makes 1 kick every 1/2 hour) max's out at 5 mil a year (Chris Kluwe), while David Beckham (famous kicker??) gets paid 5.5 mil. (the highest of any MLS player).
Moral: play football, drink beer!

Ghetto breath mints

These pics haven't been photoshopped

Redneck fire detector

Why pics

2008-12-02T19:33:00.000-08:00

Igor at his finest (struggled to resist posting it ... resistance is futile) .. All your base are belong to us?

The difference between men and women

New stills from the new wolverine movie ... Liev Schreiber will play Sabertooth ... AND ZOMGZOMGZOMG Ryan Reynolds will play Deadpool !!!!!1!!
...I can now die happily

He always knew having a kid would come back to bite him in the ...

Shot from photo shoot vs. how it came out on the magazine

"I have nothing interesting to say; I should blog about it"

All I play is W.o.W. so my gaming reviews have gone down the toilet, all I do is fund raise so anything else to share is also gone (a.k.a. writing). Still you click, you chuckle (except for Igor who snorts), you move on. 5 minutes well spent.

poops and titters

2008-11-26T18:07:00.001-08:00

The new PSP Billboards in L.A. I was impressed

The silhouette is made by that trash mound.

Your I.T. guy in R.L.

Look how many cops they called.

EPIC FAIL!!!

This sign is from a food court in a mall near the Beijing Olympics.
Google translator fail!

The GREATEST way to ruin your buddy's pic.

Hardcore emo stuck in his mom's minivan

Ultimate lonely. Look at all the girls NOT sitting next to him

This one cracks me up. Look at the tied up dude nonchalantly strolling past in the back

Fail.

Digg

2008-11-13T18:55:00.001-08:00

Loving it

2008-11-11T18:56:00.000-08:00

I love how as they were touching her up they accidentally forgot to add eyeliner.... no they got that one. Maybe it was the freckle they forgot to add.... Ahh, right... they forgot to add her leg!!

Smbc

2008-11-07T19:31:00.000-08:00

So lame I actually laughed.

Photography convention

2008-11-07T07:36:00.000-08:00

There was thousands and thousands of artists and all the good ones cost cash. I believe photography is more than good cameras, lighting, and the perfect angle.

L337 photographers have imagination sk1lls!!
High speed shots FTW

Got jokes

2008-11-06T17:47:00.000-08:00

Za new Jeep

2008-10-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

Drool!
It's a '91, 2.2L, 4cyl engine, 4 seater, STICK! Sold the white Cherokee.
If any of you guys wanna go off roading: come visit

Positively Positive, Part 4 (Link 39)

2008-10-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

The Lord says:

"...your eyes are fixed on your own dungeon walls.

72. You alone hold the key to the door. You alone can choose to leave your dungeon and step out into the light and accept the freedom I have given, the life I have given, the love I have given. When you accept this freedom, a whole new world opens up to you‚ and I am able to give you so much more. Your life takes on much more meaning and you are able to fulfill the purpose I have designed you for; you are able to live up to your full potential and use the talents I have placed within you"

An outdoor campaign, huh? I always figured I'd be rolling d20's with St. Peter in a water campaign, looks like the Lord likes outdoor one's too.
"You alone hold the key to the door" ...To bash open a dungeon door is a d.c.12. For a barbarian like me that statement is a lie... I GOT 2 KEYS BABY!

MOLON LABE!

Crysis... 2?

2008-10-19T06:59:00.000-07:00

Crysis: Warhead isn't really Crysis part 2. Guys at EA figured they had this awesome graphics engine and should make more games from it. Cut out the FAIL asteroid swimming and 1/2 the levels and presto-bingo you have "Warhead". The entire game start to finish took me 3 hours to play.

Story line: You play Codename: Psycho, who is fighting the Koreans and the aliens at the same time Codename: Nomad is fighting on the other side of the island in Crysis. There is no story line. You interact with Nomad... never. You can't really fit much plot or gripping allure in 3 hours of play. If you played Crysis, you know whats gonna happen before it does (plus on this you don't get to fight the mothership from the USS Constitution).

Fun Factor: They removed the arena play. You grind from the beginning of one level to the end, load level 2: grind again. They also removed all need to use the suits different abilities. You can leave it on shield mode, equip the Scar or the type 56 and the Gauss gun and shoot your way through.

Graphics: Sweet! Exact same engine as Crysis. Same attention to detail. Same fully fleshed out environment. Plus from there I have proof Koreans read western girly mags.

Weapons: Fail! When there's so little options I get grumpy. Plus they cheaped out Warhead by removing the silencer effect from the assault rifles. You can snipe with a silenced Type 56. That and the pumped up the stopping power of the 9mm para round; it now is a more powerful round then the 5.56 Nato.

Quotable quotes

2008-10-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.-Joe Martin

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.-Mickey Rooney

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.-Rodney Dangerfield

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.-Jackie Mason

Earth First, we'll strip mine the other planets later.

2008-10-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

TAKE THE TEST

Gobby's

2008-10-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

Big news, big news everyone.
T. Hunt has given up his day job to now exclusively work for "Goblins".
T. Hunt has done alot for the TSR world and has a cult following that probably matches Q. Tarantino. This means theres actually a chance T.F. 9 might even come into existance.

Go show some support and read his webcomic.

Crysis 2: Warhead

2008-09-18T14:57:00.001-07:00

Be excited, be very excited.

Little Lord Fauntleroy

2008-09-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

Simple joys are holy

Make ol' Ed Teach proud!

2008-09-10T15:58:00.000-07:00

Sept 19th comes but once a year.

Brush off your pantaloons and fill your tankard with grog.
The bilge rats who refuse to partake of International talk like a pirate day shall be keelhauled

1 Growl - and scowl often. Pirates don't use a cultured, elegant, smooth vocalization - they mutter and growl.

2 Use pirate lingo. Sounding like a pirate isn't as hard as it seems! There are lots of resources for picking up pirate "lingo," so make use of them (some common terms listed below) in addition to trying to affect a vocal sound. Avoid using modern epithets (swear words). It's much more colorful (and kid-friendly) to use "pirate slang" for those naughty words.

3 Gesture with your hands frequently. Don't forget that pirates do most of their talking on the deck of a ship - out on the ocean, where wind, waves, and bird calls make it tough to hear. Gesturing often gives you a sense of "being there."

4 Run words together. Saying, "The boys and I were out for a lovely day on the water today" sounds like something you'd overhear at a yacht club, not out on the bounding main! Instead, try, "Me'n'these here scurvy scallywags drug our sorry keesters out t'th'ship'n'had us a grand great adventuaaarrr! We almost had t'keelhaul Mad Connie f'r gettin inter th' grog behind our backs!" Use contractions whenever possible. Be sure to punctuate often with "Arrrr!"

5 Never use "you" or "you're" - ever. Instead, use the piratical form, "yer" or "ya" for all forms of address to others. "Yer a scurvy bilge rat, ya pompous gasbag" or "Here's yer dinner, ya mangy cockroach." Note that you should always endeavor to call the addressee by some insulting name, usually involving an animal.
6 Embellish at will. A pirate is larger than life, and his or her speech should always reflect this. Don't just say, "We saw a whale off the starboard bow today." Say, "Me'n'th' crew seen a great grand sea beastie, th' mother of all whales, aye!"

7 Refer to yourself as "me" at all times, never "I" It is not piratically correct to say, "I have a cold." It is far better as a pirate to declare, "Got me a case o'th'sniffles, 'ass rye!"

8 More importantly, substitute "me" for "my" For example, don't say, "Look at my new sword," say "Lookit me new sword!." Also substitute "meself" for "myself" as in "Got meself a right fine ship!"

9 Mutter unintelligibly unless yelling. Being a pirate usually meant being liquored up to some degree - a lot of time, pirates were pretty mush-mouthed. In the step preceding, the term "'ass rye" actually translates to "that's right." Get it?

10 Be as loud as humanly possible. Pirates are not shy violets - stand tall, me hearties, and be counted!

11 Procure one dead stuffed parrot and sew feet to right shoulder of 2nd hand store jacket. This will put you in the mood to adhere to the above mentioned rules and guarantee an abundance of "yers and arghs".

WoW reality

2008-09-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

This one's for you

2008-08-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

Digging through old photos. Came across some of M.
Ten Monopoly dollars to whoever guesses the gun.
Miss you M
Check out the nostril shot

M's "need to go pee" face. (not to ever be confused with the "O" face)

Tagging

2008-08-18T09:33:00.001-07:00

Pearls b4 swine

2008-08-16T19:48:00.000-07:00

Sooo me... soo totally me

Die Hard 2

2008-08-16T07:39:00.001-07:00

Urban Myth.
In Die Hard 2: Die Harder, Willis is talking to the airport authorities about the fight in the baggage terminals.
He says "He pulled a Glock 7 on me! You know what that is? It's a plastic gun made in Germany. It won't show on your airport X-ray machines, and it costs more than you make in a month!"

Aside from the fact that theres no such thing as a Glock 7. Theres no such thing as an undetectable gun. Knives: YES, guns: no.

Glock as a general rule uses more polymers than any other commercially manufactured firearm. But even in the back pages and obscure named weapon companies, an X-ray machine can see a handgun.
The only way S.A.S. and Mossad operatives pulled off "non-X-ray" guns was by making the parts look like something else. Think the golden gun from Bond.

Bullet casings are made of metal, recoil springs are made of metal and even though polymers are see through theres still enough metal used in ALL commercial handguns that an X-ray machine would go off like a Christmas tree.

Even if a handgun that uses caseless ammo were to be invented, AND it was loaded with a ceramic head, AND the powder charge was buried enough to not be sniffed out by the bomb sniffers, AND a gunsmith came up with a way replace the metal frame and spring polymer guns seem to need, and ... etc; you think the government would let that knowledge go public and risk it falling into the hands of the "EY-rabs"?

H&K soccom came in a standard .45acp 12 round clip, S&W made a revolver that held 3 20-gauge shotgun shells. Uncle Sam buys blueprints and shreds them.

Airline Gripe sheet

2008-08-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet," which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF unavailable for civilian aircraft.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Calm like a bomb

2008-08-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

Yes I spit fire
Hope lies in the smoldering rubble of empires
Yes back through the shanties and the cities remains
Same bodies buried hungry,
With different last names,
The vultures robbing everyone
Leave nothing but chains
Pick a point here at home
Yes the pictures the same
Theres a field full of slaves
Some corn and some debt
Theres a ditch full of bodies
The check for the rent
Theres a tap, the phone, the silence of stone
The numb black screen
That be feeling like home

And the riot be the rhyme of the unheard.

Harold Lee: After all the s**t we've been through, I don't... I don't know if we can trust our government anymore.
George W. Bush: Trust the government? Heck, I'm in the government and I don't even trust it. You don't have to believe in your government to be a good American.
Harold Lee: Why does everything has to be a huge argument with you, man?
Kumar Patel: Because this is America, dude, and as long as I have my freedom of speech no one's going to shut me up.

Hack the WHOLE planet??

2008-08-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

The family eventually partakes in everything!

Don't know if yall heard the stunt that Jo Amaran*cough*thine (flips to page two) did on the glitch. Somehow he released that he had the new Metanoya album to which he was promptly debunked.

Someone jumped in on the fun and on claims a zero day release .nfo on the XD song (or so the spam I've gotten on it says).
This might all be hot air.

Either way, everyone loves the story of Robin Hood. Piracy is all about giving to the common man what the established empire wants to control. Luther and Tyndale were some of the greatest pirates to ever walk the earth.

You can have your feelings about the pirate, but without piracy our world as we know it would be a harsher version of Orwell's. Draconian laws pale to the might of the common man.

The world is my expense
The cost of my desire
Jesus blessed me with its future
And I protect it with fire
So raise your fists
And march around
Dont dare take what you need
Ill jail and bury those committed
And smother the rest in greed

If you haven't gotten spammed yet, wait 5 minutes. Heres whats passing around (not including the acsi garbage)

M.P. Free

Musical Piracy Free
By: Muscial Piracy Movement
Proudly Presents:

---------------------------------------------------------------------
XD song: Xtreme
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Artist...............: David French
Album................: None
Genre................: Rock
Source...............: WS
Year.................: 2008
Ripper...............: EAC (Secure mode) / LAME 3.92 & Other
Codec................: FhG
Version..............: MPEG 1 Layer III
Quality..............: Insane, (avg. bitrate: 320kbps)
Channels.............: Stereo / 44100 hz
Tags.................: ID3 v1.0, ID3 v2.3
Information..........: Song from XD

Ripped by............: MPM on 5/26/2008
Posted by............: MPM on 8/13/2008

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tracklisting
---------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Xtreme.mp3 (00:03:38) -

Playing Time.........: 00:03:38
Total Size...........: 8.34 MB

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Imagine getting 0-day release G.N.'s? This is not a stance against leadership. This is a stand for the common man.

Oh, the places you'll go!

2008-07-09T17:42:00.000-07:00

Dr. Theodor S. Giesel is by far one of the world's greatest authors.
I own almost all of his stuff. The only ones I don't own, are ancient ones I can't find available to purchase.

One of my favorites: "Oh, the places you'll go!"
Heres my favorite part of that book.

"You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
-Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind."

"-headed, I fear, toward a most useless place:
THE WAITING PLACE...
...for people just waiting.
waiting for a train to go, or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a yes or no
or waiting for their hair to grow.
EVERYONE IS JUST WAITING!
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a better break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or another chance.
Everyone is just waiting."

..btw, if you know where I can find "The 500 hats of Bartholomew Cubbins" lemme know.
... "S." stands for Seuss.

P.B.S.

2008-06-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

FEAH teh stoner POWA!

2008-05-26T18:46:00.000-07:00

Around the time of the first crusade (1090) Cairo, Egypt was still being ruled by the Fatimide dynasty. The Leader of a small Shia sect of Muslims lead by a guy named Hasan-i Sabbah vied for the throne.
They were persecuted by the predominant Sunni population and slaughtered right and left by the Mongols.
Hasan was eager to get back at his enemies but lacked the numbers of an amassed army to do so.
Instead he got young men to hit the hash pipe and have happy dreams about what heaven was like.
Since any hash smoker knows the drug induced dreams are the most realistic pleasant closeness you'll ever get to your fantasies coming true, Hasan convinced his followers that what they dreamed of was their harems in the afterlife with their houris awaiting those who follow Allah's will. (Based off Marco Polo's accounts from his visit to Alamut in 1273)

Eager to secure their place at the end of the one way ticket, the "Hashish eaters" trained to become the "True left hand of Allah".
They used daggers and stealth to kill people others considered untouchable. So great was their stealth that even the crusaders in their fortified towers feared them (no one before thought to masquerade as a servant, open an new doorway in the dark side of your tent, and give you a few new orifices).
They never allowed themselves to be seen and rejected any weapon that might allow a witness to discuss them before dying (a.k.a. poison or crossbows). They also learned to fight only using their hands and feet in an old-school style of Kung-Fu. They tended to opt for public killings to up the fear factor and there is very few records of them killing innocent bystanders (They had the Sicilian idea of: you only need 1 bullet to kill 1 man)

The "Hashishin's" or "Hashashin's" fought with no honor, paying heed to Marcinko's 6th rule of combat: Thou are not judged by the means as thou art by the results.
The crusaders had a killer time remembering and pronouncing the cult's name (especially the rolled "h") and pretty quickly Christendom came to feah "assassins".

Next time you hear someone being called a true assassin check to see if his turban matches his shoes.

Stand up comedy

2008-05-13T19:55:00.001-07:00

If your blog hopping, wasting time while looking busy: check these out.

Treble Charge - Red

2008-05-13T19:13:00.000-07:00

My last music video post. I swear it.

Spelling nazi

2008-04-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

Every one takes others for granted.

This is a fact of life.

But maybe, just maybe, you stumble across the realization that someone you know who possesses a gift you've always acknowledged with a mere nod or a dismissive comment like "Ya, Bob's ok at that" is really good. You are hit with the understanding that Bob is not just ok, compared to the vast majority- the madding crowd, if you will; Bob has mad skills.

Bob is L337

This makes you look at them in a whole new light.
So this cheers goes out to Igor the Giant!
Andy, you may not be the worlds greatest author BUT you could very easily vie for one of the greatest editors. That fact that you DON'T do this for a living is a loss deeper then we all realize.

I bequeath thee with the honorary title "teh"
I raise my glass and salute you!

My vast well of compliments and well wishing is now dried up. Now go forth and edit more stuff "teh editor".

I give strangers great big hugs.

2008-04-29T15:39:00.000-07:00

Someone said I was special today. I hope at least they realize that I CHOOSE to run head first into walls.

SMBC

2008-04-28T19:02:00.001-07:00

Giggedy giggedy...oohll right

2008-04-28T00:49:00.000-07:00

I can't watch towelie without hurting myself.

59

2008-04-24T19:05:00.000-07:00

April 21, 2008 (2008-04-21) (Monday)
* Rioting breaks out in Montreal after the Montreal Canadiens of the NHL win their first round playoff series against the Boston Bruins. Several police cars are torched, but there are no reports of any serious injuries. (Canadian Press via Globe and Mail)

Happy Birthday P. (the greatest canuck of them all)

More music

2008-04-23T15:51:00.000-07:00

Get yourself some culture ... be cult today

festering is misunderstood

2008-04-22T23:13:00.000-07:00

Theres an old adage "Call a woman beautiful and she'll be beautiful" ...or something.
I've been trying to improve in this area, and I think you should join in the awesome fun.

Next time someone exercises their right to not use common sense: call them genius or Einstein.
Saying "How's all that genius working out for you, Einstein?" will undoubtedly improve their self worth.

Follow Salazar's protagonist, and call people "a prince" when they volunteer to warm the couch with their rears instead of working. Every one wants to feel special.
Announcing them as "a real prince" will make their day.

Spread some love and watch your smile grow like mine.

Red Foreman has nothing on me.

...

2008-04-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

Why we....

2008-04-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

Anarchy is complicated. Its like trying to explain Utopia.
In a lot of peoples minds it's the same thing with just a new label on that thing our parents sat on government steps protesting for. There are those who think punk is a clothing style, that matches your black ipod, and the "A" is cute and goes with heavy eyeliner when you visit Hot Topic at the mall.

If you've only ever met posers: punk and anchy are sickening. True chaos is pathetic.
Heres a rant from SLC Punk. It explains the reasons we fight... AND don't believe in fighting!

A fight: What does it mean and where does it come from?

An Essay: Homosapien. A man. He is alone in the universe.

Anarchists. Still a man. He is alone in the universe, but he connects. How? They hit each other. No clearer way to evaluate whether or not you're alive.

Now. Complications. A reason to fight. Somebody different. Difference creates dispute. Dispute is a reason to fight. Now, to fight is a reason to feel pain. Life is pain. So to fight with reason is to be alive with reason. Final analysis: To fight, a reason to live.

Problems and Contradictions: I am an anarchist. I believe that there should be no rules, only chaos. Fighting appears to be chaos. And when we slam in the pit a show it is.
But when we fight for a reason, like rednecks, there's a system, we fight for what we stand for, chaos. Fighting is a structure, fighting is to establish power, power is government and government is not anarchy. Government is war and war is fighting.

The circle goes like this: our redneck skirmishes are cheap perversions of conventional warfare. War implies extreme government because wars are fought to enforce rules or ideals, even freedom. But other people ideals forced on someone else, even if it is something like freedom, is still a rule; not anarchy.

"Why did I love to fight?" I framed it, but still, I don't understand it. It goes against my beliefs as a true anarchist. But there it was. Competition, fighting, capitalism, government, THE SYSTEM.

What was the point? Final summation? None

Prologue

2008-04-15T19:19:00.000-07:00

Gone.

msg me if you ever wanna read it.

This cannibal animal I

2008-04-15T19:14:00.000-07:00

BULLS ON PARADE!!!!

Good times good times

2008-04-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

New Book = more bloggers?

2008-04-13T20:37:00.000-07:00

Some of you know I've gotten back into writing.
Instead of sending my work to the two dozen or so people I normally do, I'm opt for the lazy route.
I'll post my book here chapter by chapter as I write it. This will NOT be the final edited version. But it'll have been read by someone far better in grammar then myself.

If you wanna read the whole thing at once: good luck. The prologue is gonna be 10 or so pages
Chapter 1: probably 3 times as long.

The story is a first person perspective written by an assassin as he interacts with demi-gods.

(hint hint) If "lazy me", who spends the time he should be writing playing computer games, then maybe "lazy you" should spend the time exercising your talent instead of... whatever it is you do.
I'm still waiting for that tattoo you said you were gonna draw me. (hint hint)

TPS Reports

2008-04-10T19:42:00.000-07:00

Greatest Poems of the Last Millennium

2008-04-08T03:16:00.000-07:00

W.B. Yeats
"He Wishes For the Cloths of Heaven"

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Edwin Arlington Robinson
"RICHARD CORY "

Whenever Richard Cory went downtown
We people on the pavement looked at him
He was a gentleman from sole to crown
Clean-favored, an imperially slim

And he was always quietly arrayed
And he was always human when he talked
But still he fluttered pulses when he said:
"Good-morning" and he glittered when he walked

And he was rich; yes richer than a king
And admirably schooled in every grace
In fine we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place

So on we worked and waited for the light
And went without the meat
And cursed the bread
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

Percy Bysshe Shelley

"OZYMANDIAS"

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

I can quote these three poems by heart (along with Robert Burn's "To a Mouse")
Ive always loved them.
Please give yourself an education and read them all the way through. You'll be the better for it

smbc esh r0><><0rz

2008-04-03T19:43:00.000-07:00

You were struck down, it was your doom.

2008-04-03T19:27:00.000-07:00

This chick song's been stuck in my head for like a week now. Time for you to share my problem.
I think somehow I can lay the blame on Finch

Bond's guns

2008-04-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

In the movies (not the books), Ian Flemming's James Bond used the same firearm for decades.

In the first Bond movie: "Dr. No.", Q. asks James to trade in his World War II spy pistol (a Beretta 418) for a Walther PPK.
Both Sean Connery and Roger Moore used the tiny poodle shooter to snipe grown men from distances a rifle would struggle to share the good news with. (Who the deuce is Timothy Dalton)

In the film "Tomorrow Never Dies" an asian girl re-outfits Bond with a Walther P99, and he keeps it for the next few films (ever the loyalist). It's the gun that he travels with and uses most of the time.
Daniel Craig still uses one in the modern section of "Casino Royale".

Baretta 418

Walther PPK

Walther P99

...and the fact that mine says .50 cal A.E. should perpetuate further shrinkage.

2008-04-02T22:21:00.000-07:00

In the world of guns the Desert Eagle is the modern equivalent to the ancient steel shod lance.
Impossibly expensive, extremely powerful, and sci-fi technology make this the modern knights choice of side arms.

In the early 80's Magnum Research Inc. got paid to invent something that would give their tank commanders an advantage.
They discarded the traditional blow back method the far vast majority of side arms choose, in place of a gun that works like a mini assault rifle.
A gun that its ammo costs $30 for a box of 20 bullets, a pistol that costs more then a lot of people's cars, a gun thats been featured in almost every video game.
A gun that you can change the caliber by merely switching the barrel, bolt, and bullets.
A pistol that can put a hole through a suburban townhouse (please aim for the windows).

A baby that jambs less then anyone else- except if your using naked lead (un-jacketed as opposed to full metal jacket).
One of the very few clip fed handguns to commercially use a magnum round (if chosen).
The d-eagle uses polygonal rifling (that means instead of the hills and valleys you get when you look down Bond's gun, the d-eagle is a twisted octagon).

S.M.B.C. r0xx0rz

2008-04-02T18:52:00.001-07:00

***********************************************************************************

A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly reading a magazine.
The officer knocks on the window and asks whats going on.
"Listening to music," the guy says.
Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?"
"Reading a magazine, of course."
"How old are you?" asks the officer.
"I'm 22."
"And how old is she?"
The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well in 11 minutes she'll be 18."

Fool de Abril

2008-04-02T13:34:00.000-07:00

Two friends are out drinking.
As it gets late one guy looks at his watch and sighs. "I can never really enjoy our nights out"
"Whys that?" his friend asks
"I always end up getting in trouble with my wife. Problem is I park down the block, walk home, take off my shoes downstairs, tip-toe to the room, leave all the lights off and creep into bed, and sure enough my wife wakes up and is ready to yell at me for staying out so late".

"Just do what I do" replies his friend "I screech the car into the driveway, slam the front door shut, tromp up the stairs, crash into bed, slap my wifes ass, and yell 'hey babe how about a blow job?' ...trust me, she's asleep every time".

***********************************************************************************

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
"What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.
"I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.
"I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

***********************************************************************************

An Irishman arrived at Boston's Logon airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was homesick.

'No, 'replied the Irishman.' It's worse, I have I've lost all me luggage.'

'That's terrible, how did that happen?'

'The cork fell out of me bottle.'

*********************************************************************************

An elderly couple were driving through County Kerry, Ireland. Irene was driving when she got pulled over by the Gardai, who asks her, 'Ma'am did you know that you were speeding?'

Irene turns to her husband, Mick and enquires, 'What did he say?'

Mick yells out, 'He says you were speeding!'
The Garda said, 'May I see your license, please ma'am?'

Irene, once again, turns to Mick and says, 'What did he say?'

Once more, Mick, shouts out, 'He wants to see your license!'

Irene gives the policeman her driving license.

The Garda retorts, 'I see you are from Kerry. I spent some time there once and had the worst date I have ever had.'

For the final time, Irene turns to Mick and asks, 'What did he say?'

Mick yells very loudly, 'He thinks he knows you!'

************************************************************************************

Three generations of hookers are sitting around talking about their lives.

The young lady complains "I gave a guy a blow job tonight and all he paid me was $50".

The mom shrugs and says "In my day you couldn't get more then $10 for that".

"Shut your mouths, both of you" the grandmother replies "During the Great Depression, we were happy just to have something warm in our belly".

*****************************************************************************************

Boy Scout Advertising:

Do I look that bad in a lab coat?

2008-03-31T19:41:00.000-07:00

stolen from finch

My life

2008-03-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

At least I neva wonder why ppl call me a geek.
This is my life exactly

How many of you mention the advantages of your +2 ring of Charisma during steering council?

Trust me... when some of the people display the effects of their -4 Wis. stats during offensive meetings, having "unarmed strike" and "fury of blows" is worth its weight in gems (5d12 at least).

Motivational Posters

2008-03-07T21:51:00.001-08:00

U.S. infantry: future weapon?

2008-03-07T20:30:00.000-08:00

The U.S. defense has released the knowledge that it is planning on re-testing the last Aberdeen results.

The results of the test will lay heavily on the choice the U.S. defense picks for it's next outfitter contract as a small arms rifle. Though the official statement is "yet to be stated".

In Oct. 2007 ten of each type of rifle were used to fire 6,000 rounds each, for a total of 60,000 rounds per rifle type, the rifles were fired in extremely dusty/windy/moist conditions. (the test chamber's called the "dust bowl")
The guns and the results were:

H&K's XM8 (the the "x" signifying it's still never been released)
127 stoppages

F.N.'s S.C.A.R. (damn French)
226 stoppages

H&K's 416 (changed from HK16 due to wanting to avoid possible copyright infringements)
223 stoppages

Colt's M4A1 (only american company jockeying for the position, and the current issue of army dum-dum's)
882 stoppages
(shown with a forward handle)

Colt got a "re-test" sanctioned due to scoring 307 jams in the exact same test about 4 months before.
It shouldn't matter, Germany is top of the gun game.

On a side note: Bushmaster (who makes the M4 replica you can buy at Academy or Walmart) won it's court case against Colt. With the judge declaring that the "signature shape", "design", and the name "M4" now being "generic". With bushmaster simply being slapped on the hand for false advertising.
Step one for any company wanting to take on the man. That aside bushmaster sucks

The Bushmaster M4

Flight of the ConChords

2008-03-06T14:17:00.000-08:00

These guys mostly suck but I thought these two were pretty funny
..this is the greatest love song EVA!

I'm not a large water-dwelling mammal
Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?
Did Steve tell you that, perchance?
...Steve.

E. Gary Gygax: This one's for you

2008-03-05T11:35:00.000-08:00

Todays the day we all shed a tear and lift our pints in your honor bro.
You were a visionary, an inspiration, and a god among us mere mortals. May your eternal mansion be rolled for on a 20 sided and your harem always play classical music.

...with sword in hand I raise my fist, wipe the beer off my barbaric jaw, and salute thee.
"Rest easy old friend, we'll be along shortly"

I wonder if he'll get to the pearly gates and St. Peter will ask him to roll a save-vs-hell.
Since Chick Publications made so much hype calling D&D "Satan worship" an all that crap, Gygax removed all "devils" and "demons" from the full second edition, making the world think that Christians believe "if you don't see it it won't exist". I wonder what version the Almighty is gonna be playing with him.

Elder Scrolls: Oblivion

2008-02-07T17:56:00.000-08:00

This game is what a true D&D game should be like.
The game has no ending you just stop playing when you've had enough. There is a main storyline however that you can accomplish by the time your level 4. (Don't! When you close oblivion gates you can collect Sigil stones to add magic abilities to your weapons and armor.)
The land is VAST, and the side quests are unlimited.
This game is a DM's dream come true.
Unlike many D&D style games this game utilizes rogue abilities quite a bit. I played a sword swinging barbarian (shocker, huh), yet many a time I dropped off my sheets of heavy armor for light robes and snuck around in the dark with a dagger and a spell scroll.

Story Line: Which one? Like I said it's true D&D. You can join the mages guild and do 50 quests and missions for them; dito for fighters guild, assassins guild, different town watches, vampires, and hundreds of others (fighting to arena champion was fun).
Didn't give it more points cuz there was ZERO plot twists. Even tho it kinda sets you up for a few of them

Fun Factor: there's enough variety to entertain for a while. You physically have to pick locks and swing sword/ax combos while trying to get your shield combo's in. You collect ingredients and brew/invent your own potions. Decent game all around. Only thing i didn't like was the lack of decent magical item loads. You unlock weapons as you get higher levels but they should have put more into it.

Graphics: Too many choices on exactly how you want to model your face!
All in all not bad. You need a half decent computer to run the game anyways so you'll probably enjoy the graphics. Decently filled in houses and dungeons.

Weapons: ARRGG!!!!
Frustrating!
Theres only 1 type of weapon in each material category and they get boring. If I'm gonna wait till level 18 to get an obsidian weapon they should have put more time and effort into a few different types of them (not just Obsidian: dagger, short sword, longsword, claymore. In the sword categories) You can add customized stones to your weapons (eg: +6 fire damage or -50 to stamina etc). Was disappointed to say the least.

Call of Duty 4

2008-01-25T14:55:00.001-08:00

Theres a reason this game was given the "game of the year" award for 2007
This game is fast paced, covers a wide variety of game play, and is designed to never be thrown in the "Boring" category. This is also one of the first FPS' that doesn't have HP. You're wearing Kevlar so when you get hit it knocks the wind outta you. Getting hit too many times in a row without stopping to catch your breath= asphyxiation.

Story Line: You follow the lines of a USMC and an SAS operative.
The story mostly happens in Iraq but has a few flashback missions. No plot mind blowers but the story in an integral part of the game play

Fun Factor: As part of different military operations you can't exactly do whatever you want mostly because you're off to save the world (or a stranded tank) and you don't have the option have fooling around. But theres so much to this game that is amazing. They copy real tape footage of those satellite planes as you provide cover for troops. Theres even a mission where all you gotta do is snipe 1 bad man, but you gotta take wind factor, Coriolis effect (the fact that gravity doesn't affect the path of a long distance bullet as much as it does something that's touching the earth. In other words shooting someone a mile away when he's standing still makes it trying to shoot a moving target), and bullet flight time into account. Only downside is: it's too short, I wanted to keep playing and playing.

Graphics: Schweet. Not an overkill but they fleshed it out pretty nicely. They also used a sweet graphics engine. You won't be blown away like you will be with "Crysis" but you will say "niiice" a few times.

Weapons: Tons of them, realistic, fun. GET SOME!

All in all "Game of the year"

Wikipedia on Gaspard-Gustave Coriolis: The coordinate system that is used to specify the location of the point of firing and the location of the target is the system of latitudes and longitudes, which is in fact a rotating coordinate system, since the Earth is rotating. For small arms, this rotation is generally insignificant, but for ballistic projectiles with long flight times, such as extreme long-range rifle projectiles, artillery and intercontinental ballistic missiles, it is a significant factor in calculating the trajectory. During its flight, the projectile moves in a straight line (not counting gravitation and air resistance for now). Since the target is co-rotating with the Earth, it is in fact a moving target, relative to the projectile, so in order to hit it the gun must be aimed to the point where the bullet and the target will arrive simultaneously.

When the straight path of the projectile is plotted in the rotating coordinate system that is used, then this path appears as curvilinear. The fact that the coordinate system is rotating must be taken into account, and this is achieved by adding terms for a "centrifugal force" and a "Coriolis effect" to the equations of motion. When the appropriate Coriolis term is added to the equation of motion the predicted path with respect to the rotating coordinate system is curvilinear, corresponding to the actual straight line motion of the projectile.

Hellgate: London

2008-01-05T07:14:00.000-08:00

Lets face it: everyone played "Diablo 2", we all loved it.
We all stayed up till 2 in the morning re-killing one of the boss monsters hoping he'd drop that rare sword or whatever.
So if you want to play a Diablo 2 game that has guns as well as swords then this is the game for you.
I personally couldn't play it beyond the first few nights (in all fairness to really get a taste, otherwise I would have quit 2 hours in).

You can pick from 3 major Class types: shooter, swordsman, and mage; which have 2 subcategories each (shooter: sniper or engineer, sword: lithe/2 swords or pure defense shields guy, Mage: summoner or caster)

Story Line: Hell is taking over, one dimension at a time. They met resistance in ours.
Which boils down to: go here shoot all these demons, go there shoot all those ones, repeat steps 1 and 2.

Fun Factor: 100% RAILED!!!
Start at point "A", kill all baddies as you walk down the hall till you reach point "B". New level loads, repeat process. You enter Stations and have 7 areas sprouting off each one but they're all "shoot your way from point "a" to point "b")
Reasons why I gave it 2 of 6: like diablo 2, monsters are are rolled for from a table appropriate for your level. Even though there are only 4 types of levels (destroyed city, dungeon, sewers, building) the monsters can be different each time you re-enter. Boss monsters which re-appear after a time will load randomly rolled loot. That and you can totally customize your weapons (think gems on diablo 2 swords only more intricate) . The only fun I had was sitting in town tinkering around with making better and better machine guns. You enter Hell at different points, which is a flat stone courtyard with a broken rail running around the edges EVERY SINGLE TIME!!

Graphics: Decently done. They spent alot time fleshing out the game. Some monsters you fight are 25 feet tall, some are tiny. The game also adjusts the graphics (if your playing on a vista machine) to accommodate your card (a.k.a.: turning up the graphics when theres 3000 monsters running around so that you can lag like a monkey, or dumbing it down when your in a room talking with a lone guy... which genius added this factor can help himself to a full serving of kick-in-the-pants)

Weapons: The only fun part of the game! Nuff' said!
All futuristic, and theres no such thing as ammo (even in the assault rifles)
Almost worth d.l.'ing just to fool around with them.... almost.
The sniper weapons are completely useless in this game due to all your encounters happening around you. The game was designed for sword and close range gun users, they shouldn't have bothered with long range stuff.

All in all they should have put less time in the choices of which chin you want and more time in making the levels funner. This game has sooo much potential to have been the greatest game ever made, but we demand more from a game since Diablo 2. This game should have been a Diablo 2 mod, not the game that we've been waiting a year for its release.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadows of Chernobyl

2008-01-03T20:09:00.000-08:00

You play a man who wakes up with no memory of who he is, but has a tattoo telling you to whack some unknown guy. The setting is in the post Pripyat disaster, where radiation has twisted some animals and scared away normal civilization.

Story line: There are so many factors fighting over dominance of the different zones that you can choose to work with anyone (or no-one). Every Tom, Dick, and Ivan has a side quest for you which makes for practically unlimited play, and the ending has a twisted end movie (Something I'd have written as opposed to that Captain America plop). You fight only people and slightly mutated animals (not bizzare alien looking weirdos)

Fun Factor: Arena play AND arena decisions let you do whatever you want. You'll decide to finish the main storyline and end the game before you explore everywhere. This game was designed to cater to the user. You can enter a "mad max" arena and battle for prestige (moneys a joke in this game, why pay for it when you can off someone and get it for free). That or join both sides of a faction war and help them battle each other out. Only downside is having to re-clear popular faction hangouts. Not rating it 6 0f 6, because you spend the entire game using the shoelace express (No vehicles or planes).

Graphics: Not a lot of extras. Houses are filled with mostly models you can't interact with. The general landscape (inside and out) seems rather bare. Not alot of extra trees and non essential stuff added (It may be how Chernobyl is in rl, who knows)

Weapons: The only game I've played where you actually need to check the condition of your weapons. That and a game that ammo actually has weight!
Before you embark off on an area that doesn't tend to use the weapon your using you need to see what you can drop to see how you can carry more ammo (Bullets are heavy son!). WIDE variety on the weapons PLUS finding ways of salvaging and combining/ upgrading gun parts.

All in all: re-playable

Crysis

2008-01-03T19:38:00.000-08:00

Since I play a host of games, heres the skinny on them (to judge download-worthy or not).

Crysis:
This game is basically part deux of FarCry. The game has the same feel, you spend a lot of time hiding in the jungle and busting up little barracks scattered over a Korean island. You end up fighting a modern day attempt of an invasion by aliens.

Story line: a spec op's soldier in a new suit that can do special power ups. You can choose with a drag of the mouse: strength mode (high jumps or Arnie melee), speed mode (run faster then you can zoom on a Bushnell $800 scope), cloak mode (insta-invis man), or bulletproof armor.

Fun Factor: Arena play lets you choose your own approach to any scenario (since you can only carry 2 rifles you can snipe out the million man march or rush in), areas aren't hack and slash, but are needing small amounts of planning, and using all your suits different abilities in combos. Only serious downside is getting caught in a giant asteroid for 3 levels.

Graphics: AMAZING! Tons of detail, just like FarCry but even better.
Huts are filled with junk you'd find in any given Korean barracks.
When you fly a plane the distant dogfights can affect you.

Weapons: Everyone carries the same things, you can snipe with a silenced U.S.P. handgun.
The complete lack of attention is in stark contrast to the amount dumped into graphics.
2 assault rifles (AK type 56, G36), 1 shotty, 1 pistol, 2 long range rifles, 2 heavy machine guns (1 is the alien one), 1 smg, and a l.a.w. make the games arsenal.

My Christmas Joke

2008-01-03T19:33:00.000-08:00

Joseph and Mary are in the stable, the angels are glowing all over, the place reeks like sheep poop from the shepherds clothes, and the newborn babe is sleeping.

The wise men are making their dramatic appearance; when as one of them walks in he hits his head against the stable roof. "Jesus Christ" he says, and Joseph turns to Mary and says "Quick write that down; it's better then Greg".

Taxes

2007-03-21T17:20:00.000-07:00

Sydney Smith (June 3, 1771 - Feb. 22 1845):

Taxes upon every article which entres into the mouth, or covers the back, or is placed under the foot. Taxes upon everything which is pleasant to see, hear, feel, smell or taste. Taxes upo warmth, light & locomotion. Taxes on everything on earth or under the earth, on everything that comes from abroad or is grown at home. Taxes on raw materials, taxes on every fresh value that is added to it by the industry of man. Taxes on the sauce which pampers man’s appetite, & the drug that restores him to health; on the ermine which decorates the judge, & the rope that hangs the criminal; on the poor man’s salt & the rich mans spice; on the brass nails of the coffin, & the ribbons of the bride; at bed or board; couchant or levant, we must pay.

The schoolboy whips his taxed top; the beardless youth manages his taxed horse with a taxed bridle on a taxed road; and the dying Englishman, pouring his medicine, which has paid seven per cent, into a spoon that has paid fifteen per cent, flings himself back upon his chintz bed which has paid twenty-two per cent, and expires in the arms of an apothecary who has paid a license of a hundred pounds for the privilege of putting him to death. His whole property is then immediately taxed from two to ten percent. Besides probate, large fees are demanded for burying him in the chancel. His vertues are handed down to posterity on taxed marble, & he will then be gathered to his fathers, to be taxed no more.

While he may have been describing England a couple hundred years ago, the old song never changes.

An update??

2007-03-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

Due to my D&D blog, I've totally neglected this one.
My D&D blog died... who would have thunk it huh?

So: Back to random senseless knowledge.
Heres some famous last words.

"I don’t feel good."
- Luther Burbank (1849-1926)

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
- General John Sedgwick (1813-1864)

"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done."
- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), when informed that his wife was dying

"Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing."
- Georges Danton (1759-1794), to his executioner

"Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
- Pancho Villa (1877-1923)

Short attention span?

2006-11-26T08:14:00.000-08:00

We had our first D&D game!
It was short... real short (2 an 1/2 hours). But, the campaign has begun.
I had to dumb down the battles because there were only two adventures instead of the usual 4, and every other crossroad was met with the responce "I attack Mike... Mike roll for initiative".
Tom is a elven wizard with mind staggering dex, who never really used his spells (screw ray of frost when I can just use my quarterstaff); Mike is a human monk with really lousy HP.
They fought goblins, orcs, and each other. Never looted an nearby chest and couldn't care less about eq.
I had to babysit them through half of it and let them butcher the rest.... I've never had so much fun!

... Up till now I had always thought elves were known for their beauty... I guess theres unshaven pimply ones too

We did it, we did it, we did it, hooray

2006-10-24T20:47:00.000-07:00

We finally bought the d&d experience.
I'm proud to announce that once a month from now on there will be a group d&d game at our house.
I'll be the DM... and so far theres gonna be 5 other players. I'm Jack's overflowing joy.

Gyre and Gimble in the Wabe

2006-10-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

I love Carroll. His work has blown generations away.
But let's be real-on-us, I doubt he expected a nonsense poem added as a attempt at humor to be a cult monolith over 100 years later.

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

'Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!'

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome foe he sought--

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

'And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'

He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

Long time

2006-10-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated this in forever. I found a new hobby and as such all lame ones get put aside.

..odd how even though I haven't posted since the world cup I still check every day for new posts.

Fatherland 0 - Pizzaland 2

2006-07-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

Well I was shocked. I'd even grown that special moustache to go with my red armband in celebration. Can't win them all I guess.

... in the end it wasn't so bad; dissapointment goes good with beer.

S.o.a.D

2006-06-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

To the fan who didn't see this coming... YOUR WEARING MY PANTS AN SITTING IN MY CHAIR .... oh wait, thats me.

In May of 2006, the band announced they were going on hiatus. Guitarist Daron Malakian has confirmed the break will probably last a few years, but insists that the band is not splitting up. He tells MTV, "We're not breaking up. If that was the case, we wouldn't be doing this Ozzfest. We're going to take a very long break after Ozzfest and do our own things. We've done System for over 10 years, and I think it's healthy for us to get away from it for a while and come back to it later on. So, this is probably going to be... well, it's not a farewell tour, but it's going to be a little while before we go out again." He adds, "I'll always be a member of System Of A Down. That will never change. There isn't a rule that says you have to make records constantly, like clockwork, to continue being who you are." Malakian claims that he needs a break from the band because he wants to live his life more. He has written the majority of the songs for the band for ten straight years.

Guitarist, Daron Malakian, says that he knows some fans aren't happy about the group taking a long hiatus after completing this summer's Ozzfest. But Malakian told Launch Radio Network that taking time off from SYSTEM for other projects is necessary for the group to stay fresh.

"I know a lot of people get into bands and stuff, but you've gotta remember inside the bands there's artists, and there's itches and things that you wanna get done, or have some kind of freshness in your life," he said. "So it's never been about, like, 'Hey, let's consistently shoot out SYSTEM records and make the biggest money in the world,' you know what I mean? For us, it's more about being creative and being able to be creative.'"

Earlier, drummer John Dolmayan told Launch that he and his bandmates expect to enjoy themselves: "Well, it should be a lot of fun," he said. "They usually are. It's kind of like, we call it, like, 'rock and roll summer camp.' It's gonna be good to be out there and it'll probably be a lot of the same crew members that have been on it. So for us it's always a good time."

Malakian is forming a new band called SCARS ON BROADWAY and plans to work on its debut album this fall. Malakian told Billboard.com that SYSTEM bassist Shavo Odadjian is likely to be part of the group.

Odadjian is also planning to collaborate musically with the WU-TANG CLAN on a new album.

Ozzfest kicks off in Seattle on June 29 and will wrap up on August 13 in West Palm Beach, Florida.

"A tear for you and a tear for me Petronius"

Another birthday

2006-06-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

Another birthday came and went. Jo bought me a couple of six-packs of Texas' finest an 6 margaritas. I also learned a few valuable lessons, such as the fact that

Met and had a few drinks with some of the guys from that amazing band "Salt of the Earth". Next morning went to a gun range and went through 200 rounds with these babies. Man was it righteous.

Said bye to Shea an Seth....guys you'll be missed.

Kids say the darnest things.

2006-06-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while Maria was changing the fat one's diaper I found myself with the entire child population. (Julian is the 4 year old kid of our resident single mom)

Me: "Since tomorrows Fathers day, we're all gonna make Fathers day cards"
Julian: "I DON'T HAVE A DADDY".

(awkward silence)
Me: "Umm... you can make one for .... Jesus. Jesus is your daddy"
Julian: "Of course not uncle Chad. My mommy's brother is my daddy".

this blogs title

2006-06-17T18:53:00.000-07:00

Sure it seems like a lame joke at best, but this reallyhappened.
...Honest

...fine ask Lu, she'll back me up (she'll even tell you that the spear guy put up more of a fight)

XD

Starting again.... for the 20th time

2006-06-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

I got all excited with a new idea.
Lets see if it can last past 4 or 5 strips.
It'll still be stick men, and I'll probably update once a week.

Fizzle

2006-03-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

These days it's impossible to "go where no mans gone before", unless you're talking about Janet Renos vagina.
I'm aware that there's thousands of webcomics, especially ones concerning mmorpgs/rpgs. But theres 2 that really crack me up. They capture my idea, and they've drawn hundreds.

So, instead of trying to think of stuff they haven't covered. I'm gonna end my comic (before it even started) and just post the links to theirs.
Hope you enjoy them as much as I did. Besides, I've always said that I'm not an artist. Now if Danny would draw one I'll write the script for it. But without any offence mean to Danny, he never would.

Here they are:
The Order of the Stick
and the less humorous but too realistic The Noob

Strip 4

2006-03-20T08:44:00.000-08:00

Strip 3

2006-03-17T09:51:00.000-08:00